We discover in our pocket a crumpled pink Post-it note on which is written the word 'mallard.' For several days we wonder what it means. No answer presents itself. Anxious that an important internet meme has passed us by, we Google it. We learn something about ducks and also steam engines. Then we recall that Mallard was the name of a group formed by former members of Captain Beefheart's Magic Band in 1974 and that we spotted a copy of their first album going for a quid in a shop in Tottenham. We go back to Totttenham to get it. It's gone. Despite the involvement of Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull, Wikipedia reliably informs us that it never "achieved any sort of commercial success." We accept that. Below, the Captain on the grid.